I want to tell you a truth I’ve been ashamed to say out loud for a long time. I have hurt my children.
Not in the ways you might think. Not because I didn’t love them — but because I did. And because no one ever taught me how to love without control, without fear, without repeating what was done to me.
I disciplined them in ways that mirrored my own childhood. Raised my voice when I was scared. Withdrew when I felt overwhelmed. Used harsh words thinking it would toughen them up for this world. I told myself it was for their good. That “they’ll understand when they grow up.”
But the truth is — I was carrying wounds I hadn’t even looked at. And those wounds had a voice in my parenting.
I was parenting not just from love, but from fear. From the terror of them being hurt. From the old belief that to be good, a child must obey without question. From the unconscious loyalty to my ancestors, who believed discipline was love because tenderness was a luxury they couldn’t afford.
And every time I saw fear in their eyes, a part of me crumbled. But I didn’t know how to stop. Because these patterns… they run deep.
It took my healing journey to show me what was happening. To help me see that I wasn’t just reacting to my children’s behavior — I was reacting to my own inner child, who was still terrified of disapproval, still aching from years of not being enough.
Healing didn’t make me a perfect parent. There’s no such thing.
I still lose my temper sometimes. I still say things I wish I could take back. But now, I catch myself. I apologize. I hold them and I hold myself.
Most importantly — I’ve stopped pretending I have to be flawless to be worthy of love. I’ve started giving my children what I never had: a parent who admits when they’re wrong, who owns their shadows, who sits down and says “I’m sorry. I didn’t handle that well.”
And for those of you reading this who aren’t parents yet — maybe you’re still carrying the ache of a childhood where discipline felt like rejection. Where being good meant being silent. Where love came with conditions.
This work isn’t just for parents. It’s for anyone who wants to stop carrying those patterns forward. For anyone tired of living life on autopilot, reacting from old wounds.
This is the space I hold.
In my 1:1 healing journeys, we unravel the old stories. We meet the inner child who still flinches, who still aches, who still longs. We release the loyalties that no longer serve you. And we make room for something different.
Not perfect. But conscious. Alive. And kind.
If you’ve felt this ache too — you’re not alone. And you don’t have to carry it forever.
📩 DM or WhatsApp +917016500451 Let’s start this work, together.